Like all people, children can have big dreams or aspirations of what they want to do or what they want to be. As parents, how do we help them with these?
First, be aware as to whether this is a passing fancy and will be gone tomorrow or next week or if this is something that they mention often. Children are prone to want to do or be the latest thing they saw. So no need to dash and sign them up for lessons for everything they seem interested in. Not many of us have that kind of time or money. And it would be exhausting for us and for them.
At the same time, the more opportunities children have to try various things, the more they will discover whether they enjoy this or don’t enjoy that or whatever it is they are especially talented in. Again, this doesn’t have to mean formal lessons, one can learn from YouTube or from other people in their lives – family or friends.
Also, they might have interests that are very different from yours – for example, maybe you are a musical couple and family, but they have a passion for something else. Don’t discount the interests or dreams of your children, simply because they aren’t on your grid. Who knows what God has in store for them?
One clue as to whether the interest they expressed isn’t simply a passing fancy, is if they try doing the thing on their own (such as they constantly draw or constantly take photos or constantly build or…)
When they consistently express a desire to do something that seems out of reach, encourage your child to “tell it to God.” God created each of our children and is perfectly able to guide, direct, and provide for their dream if it is consistent with whom He created them to be.
My favourite story in this regard is of a five year old who longed to play harp. Her mother wisely told her little girl, to “Tell God.” This little girl did so. And although hers was a one income, large homeschooling family who did not have the means for expensive harp lessons or buying a harp (or even renting one), God saw fit to send people this little girl’s way over the years, who gave her free harp lessons and loaned her harps. One of these teachers was a professional of such caliber that she played around the world, including performing for royalty. The little girl grew to be an accomplished harpist.
Sometimes as our children walk toward their goal or “dream,” they will meet obstacles or road blocks. Help them to remove them or go around them. Sometimes they might experience failure. Encourage your child to learn from that.
What if your child longs to dance, but seems to have “two left feet”? You can still let them pursue dance – anyone who practices hard enough will get at least a little better, and they might discover on the way that this isn’t for them. They might be led from that path to something else that is related in some way, and that they can flourish in.
Sometimes they might want something that you don’t want to support with your time or limited finances. For example, many a Canadian boy dreams of playing hockey professionally in the National Hockey League, but how many of us have the finances to support all the training and the time to be at the rink at 5:30 a.m. multiple times a week? You can tell your son the reasons that you won’t be signing him up for that but still encourage him that if this is something that God wants him to do, God will make a way.
Sometimes you might not even believe that your child’s dream is morally okay. It is good to be honest with them.
When two young ladies took our two eldest daughters to see the Nutcracker ballet, our daughters came home with shining eyes and told me that they wanted to be professional ballet dancers (they were already taking ballet at a Christian dance studio). I let them know that God would have to write on the wall and speak to me in an audible voice for me to back such a thing, since the professional ballet world was a very self-focused one not to mention a dark world spiritually and morally. It turns out that they did pursue ballet for quite a while: currently one daughter owns a Christian dance studio and teaches ballet in a Christian context as she disciples the students, while another daughter has used dance in missions’ work, and yet another did become a professional ballerina with a Christian Ballet company that takes the gospel around North America and even across the world.
This is just another example of how God can lead, direct, and guide.
So be encouraged! God can make a way for our children’s dreams. It is for us to be observant, prayerful, and point them to God, and continue to disciple them on their journey.
