Sarah lived 127 years; these were the years of the life of Sarah. And Sarah died at Kiriath-arba (that is, Hebron) in the land of Canaan, and Abraham went in to mourn for Sarah and to weep for her. And Abraham rose up from before his dead and said to the Hittites, … (Genesis 23:1–3)
This is an intriguing chapter as we witness the whole procedure of Abraham buying a piece of land with a cave in it for burial purposes. Sarah is dead at 127 years old, and Abraham needs to bury her body. He approaches the Hittites in order to buy the needed land. They reply that he can have whatever tomb he wants. He asks to buy a specific one from a specific person. So, this person, Ephron, offers him the cave as a gift. Abraham replies that he will give the full price of the field. Ephron answers,
“My lord, listen to me: a piece of land worth four hundred shekels of silver, what is that between you and me? Bury your dead.” Abraham listened to Ephron and Abraham weighed out for Ephron the silver that he had named in the hearing of the Hittites, four hundred shekels of silver…” (Genesis 23:15-16).
All this time, during this polite, cultural “dance” back and forth, Abraham knows he is going to buy the field, and the others know it as well. But they don’t simply deal with it directly, they act as if it is going to be a gift. But when Ephron says, “a piece of land worth four hundred shekels of silver, what is that between you and me?” Abraham knows that this is the asking price and pays it.
Cultures deal with life differently. It is so important for us to not take for granted that everyone operates the way we do, but to have our eyes and ears open to how other people with whom we are interacting, deal with different things. Even different families have different family cultures—their style of communication, whether they are direct or indirect, and so much more.
We have had the blessing of many people from many different nations sitting around our dinner table. We have learned that someone from a certain culture will never ask for a dish to be passed but must wait for it to be offered. Imagine if we didn’t know that! They would go hungry! In another culture, when offered something, the person needs to say “no” three times. Imagine if we took their first “no” for an actual “no!” They would go hungry as well.
Prayer: God, may you help me to be sensitive when I interact with others, to understand (or even to ask) about how they might be communicating differently, or seeing something differently. Help me to catch on quickly to what’s going on, and to work with it. Amen.
